My kids are cute.

Even though this time of year is crazy-hectic-busy, I don't want to let myself disregard the fun things the girls have been up to the last couple of weeks.

• Like Josie talking. Not a lot, and not full sentences or anything yet, but lots of words and phrases. She pulled out "vacuum" this morning at Betty's - that was a new one. And she's always giving things to people and then saying "there you go!" We're in an upswing with the manners, too... she's using "thank you" and "please" quite nicely. For the time being, at least. Although we have had a few time-outs due to hitting issues. Just us, and at home, so far - nothing at daycare or with other people, yet.

• And like Josie running. She is fast. And takes off at inopportune moments, like when you're trying to get her dressed and only have the top half of her pj's on. Then she giggles and giggles when you chase her around the house to finish getting her dressed. Oh - and she put on her own shoes the other day. When did she learn that??! And she got her hat on by herself, too. It's exciting. But a little bit sad, too.

• And like Eve eating cereal and applesauce before bed and sleeping soundly all the way through the night and not waking up at 11:00 pm and staying awake until 2:00 am like she did to us the other night or waking up at 4:00 am like she did a few mornings in a row a while ago. Mommy and Daddy were not pleased. So now we fill that kid up before bed, and so far, it's working.

• And like Josie pointing out every Christmas decoration and every set of lights on every house we pass while driving to and from daycare. And we must ooh and aah and be equally as amazed as she is.

• And like Eve just being so happy. SO happy. She's awfully fun right now. She wants to sit on her own and stand and move and grab things so badly, but just can't quite muster the coordination, yet. Although she is able to grab things I don't want her to, like the spoon when I'm feeding her and my arm when I'm getting her dressed. Then she just smiles and smiles. And so do we. Her good humor is quite contagious. And she's got a chuckle that cracks me up to no end. And a shriek that can split eardrums, but we are hearing less and less of that, and more of the chuckling. Thank goodness.

• And like Josie just being such a... little person. She's getting taller, and smarter, and she's coordinated now and wanting to do everything that we do, and to help. All the time with the helping. It's funny how long it can take to get something done when you have so much help! And you ask her a question and she'll stop for a moment and think it through before giving you an answer and you can tell she's actually weighing out the options and it's amazing.

"Drop that rhinoceros!"

That's only one of the phrases uttered at our house lately that made me stop and think "what if someone caught bits and pieces of conversations around here without knowing the full context of what was going on?" For example, "Drop the rhino" was meant for Brewster. He is the big brother Josie doesn't have. He loves to antagonize her by going into her room, picking out a stuffed animal and parading around the house with it in his mouth while she chases and scolds him. Here are a few other phrases, and the context of the conversation in which they were used:

"Is the tree done whooshing?"
*** We got a Christmas tree on Saturday. A real one. According to Pat, they need to "whoosh" before you can decorate them. We always had a fake tree at my house growing up, so I am still somewhat new to real tree etiquette. Kinda like when Pat and I lived in our apartment downtown St. Paul and we blatantly ignored the rule that you're not supposed to have real trees in apartment buildings because of fire hazards or something like that. Oops.

"You're silly, Evening Poodle."
*** Pat's nickname for Eve. Although probably better than my nieces' calling her Beve (Baby Eve.)

"Yes, that's where the elephant goes potty." (Substitute basically any animal for elephant - and we've probably said that, too.)
*** Josie is fascinated by anything "potty"-related. She wants to see the poop in her diaper, insists on throwing diapers away herself, makes her "that's gross" noise (kinda like eew eew eew, said very low and with a disgusted look on her face) when she points to Brewster's wee-wee, still runs in to sit on her potty chair when I go to the bathroom. She turns over toys and stuffed animals to look for their girl or boy parts, only to be disappointed that they are not anatomically correct. Although she still makes the aforementioned "gross" noise and points. All of this has been going on for months... I'm starting to wonder if the fascination will ever go away?

"Would you like to leave Santa down your pants?"
*** My personal favorite. This was said by Pat - and directed at Josie, so get your minds out of the gutter. When digging out Christmas decorations, I found a couple of stuffed Christmas toys - a Santa and a reindeer. Josie was playing with them the other night, and I guess Pat shoved one down the back of her shirt, and the other down the back of her pants. All I saw of this was Josie running through the kitchen with them stuffed down her back and backside. Pat attempted to take them out for her, but she didn't want them out, apparently.

As I mentioned before, I feel like we've had a lot going on lately - although, I'm not really sure what. Getting and decorating the tree, finally. And the weekend before, the female Gronaus and Ed came over for a playdate and lunch (if you can call my meager attempt at a meal, lunch!) on Friday, then my mom and niece, Emilie, came up later in the day to stay for the weekend to help out with the girls while Pat and I went to a Minnesota Wild hockey game Friday night and a wedding for a fraternity brother of Pat's on Saturday night. We also did a family outing on Saturday to the Mall of America so Em wouldn't think the whole weekend was totally lame. :) Then Sunday was the annual cookie bake with my bookie-girly-friends. God bless 'em. Not to mention the tasty treats - we just keep getting better and better every year! And there's the usual work, eat, sleep routine to keep up while battling getting ready for Christmas. Oi.

Eve is, finally, healthy. For the time being, at least. But I'll take it! She continued to have bouts of throwing up on and off for about a week. We switched her to soy formula, and she seems to be doing better. So now we're gradually slipping some regular formula back in, and we'll see how she does. Either it was just a bug, or there's a formula issue that will resurface once she's back to full strength. So now we're just battling the usual runny noses here and there, and that, we can handle. Although we don't handle the snot nearly as much as my mother would like... she's a Kleenex Nazi!!

OH - Eve rolled over! Last Saturday morning. Poor kid - everything they say about the second child is sadly true. Less hoopla around their milestones, fewer pictures taken, hand-me-down clothes... anyway - she rolled. Yea, Eve! You're one step closer to getting into Josie's toys :)

That's all the time I've got for today, folks. Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season!

Busiest time of the year?

Sure feels like it! As you can probably tell from the lack of posts lately, we've been busy. Just wanted to check in and say that we're all healthy and happy. We've had a lot of fun stuff going on lately, and I promise to tell you about it someday. :) Just not today! How's that for a tease?

Yes, Virginia, it really was a Crap-tastic weekend.

Don't get me wrong. The actual Thanksgiving holiday was lovely. A nice, relaxed family day at the Coe residence. Thanks, Sissy and family, as always, for the warm welcome and complete hospitality.

But the days thereafter - not so fun. I'm not blogging about the weekend to gain sympathy or hear myself gripe, but only to have a record of what, in hindsight, was a frustrating series of events encompassing the "anything-that-could-go-wrong-probably-will," rule. I know I'm going to forget some things, but here are the highlights, or should I say - lowlights.

• The crud still has not left our home. This bug is a tenacious bug. All 4 of us, while not exactly sick, just didn't quite feel up to par.
• The bitch is back. Old Crusty, that is. Pardon my language. Not that she ever really went anywhere (her legs are much too short to allow her to go far - sorry, but she's a pain in my arse.) So Pat ran up to Big Steer Meats to grab some lunch on Saturday (they have very tasty sandwiches and soups, for any of you who frequent the East Side.) As he was walking back home, OC attacked. Again with the tree business. She told him that we really need to take that thing down, as it drops stuff on her roof. He told her that fine, if she wants to pay for it, we'll take it down. Aghast, she said that she couldn't afford that. Defiant, he said that neither could we. And walked away. Get a life, you old hag.
• We will never, ever, ever attempt to do a "family" grocery shopping trip again. What a nightmare. We've tried this in the past, and not had good results, so I don't know why we thought we should try it again. We even got one of the "car carts" for Josie to ride in, thinking that would make her happy. Not the case. She's in a phase right now where, basically, she needs to be eating something, at all times, in order to be happy. So to be in a store filled with food that she can't eat is not a good time. For anyone involved.
• The sliding door on the van decided to not work. Again. Perhaps we should have that looked at, you may say. And you may be right. Perhaps we should. Along with the brakes that started to squeak and the strange thunking noise that appeared, as well. Oy.
• After all the talk and hype about hitting the day-after-Thanksgiving sales and getting a camcorder, it didn't happen. Pat didn't feel good Friday morning and it sounds like he would have had to camp out over night to get one anyway. What a pain. And by the time we made it out the stores for anything else we wanted on Friday, those things were sold out, as well. Perhaps they should stock more than 10 items on sale per store. What a scam.
• In addition to the cold/cough that Eve has had, she started to throw up entire feedings on Saturday. It could be an hour or two later, and up it would come. She kept this up on Sunday, and we called the urgent care at the clinic. After a couple hours and not getting a call back, we called again. Oh - we don't have a record of you calling, they say. Oh - you're a bunch of frickin' idiots, I say. Okay - not out loud, but in my head. So they end up telling us that there is nothing they could do for her there, and we'd need to take her to Children's Hospital. Like they couldn't have told us that the FIRST time we called. So I took her to Children's around 5:30 Sunday evening. She checked out fine, they said her lungs sounded okay and were not concerned about her cough, and told me to give her some Pedialyte in small doses every hour or so, and gradually start adding in formula until she was eating fine without throwing up. So I stayed home with her Monday, we had an okay day, by late afternoon she was eating small amounts of formula and not throwing up. And she never seemed sick this whole time. No fever, no crabbiness (other than not getting a full meal when she was hungry and having to wait an hour for more food,) she was having wet diapers and not showing signs of dehydration. Then at 6:00 last night, up came what seemed to be all the liquids she had consumed all day. After a call to Children's, we started the whole Pedialyte process over again. We're at a bit of a loss. I'm suspecting something like GER (gastroesophigal reflux,) but we'll see how she does today at home with Pat and take it from there. Poor little bugger - it's so hard when they can't tell you what's wrong. Anyone know a good baby-whisperer?

Sorry - that got really long. And I'm sure there's more, I just can't think right now. I'd like to say it's a sunnier day, but have you looked outside lately - yuck!!

Giggles / Fun or Tears / Tantrums: Every day is an adventure

This morning was the toughest morning we've had so far. And Josie had some pretty, yellow goo coming out of her nose... coincidence? Methinks not. 'Tis the season, and we're already getting hit hard at out house. Eve busted out the raspy cough again over the weekend, Pat lost his voice and developed a lovely hack, I cracked open the Nyquil last night and chugged some Dayquil this morning and there's the aforementioned yellow goo for Jo. But we still made it to daycare in prompt fashion and got to work on time, so it wasn't all that rough. Onward and upward. Or something.

As indicated in the title, every day is truly and adventure. We never know which Josie is going to greet us in the morning, and even if we meet the giggle-girl, we could soon be face-to-face with tantrum queen. The joys of toddlerhood. :) But the good far outweighs the bad. She delights in brushing her teeth, then runs out to "show her teeth" in a big, cheesy grin. She had her last swimming class on Saturday, if she took anything away besides a love for water, it's a love for Wheels On the Bus. The parents and kids would sing this song in the pool while parents moved kids in whatever way the song said. We now have to do this at home. All. The. Time. The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.

And 'round and 'round.

And 'round and 'round.

You get the picture. She was kind of flinging her cabbage patch doll, Hazel, around the other day, and I didn't really think too much of it as she does tend to fling her babies around from time to time. Then Pat realized what she was doing - she was trying to sing wheels on the bus and do the motions with the doll. Now that we know what she's doing, we sing for her and she tries to sing along and dances with Hazel. Super cute.

Josie also LOVES to be chased around the house, running or crawling. I prefer running. She laughs, and laughs and has gotten pretty good at finding new places to run around and try to lose us. So if you call and I'm out of breath, it's because we can keep this game up for quite a while before she tires of it.

Being the big girl she is, she has started to want to pick out her own clothes. Not even daytime clothes so much, but pajamas are a must. Sometimes we get some interesting combos of shirts and pants. Perhaps a lovely soft pink princess top with blue cloud leggings. Or pink camo print pants with a purple kitty shirt. She's so proud of her selections, you just can't say no. And she definitely is my daughter - Pat told her we needed to go pick out some clothes the other morning, and she ran into her room - and picked out a new pair of pajamas! That's right, we'd stay in comfy clothes all day if we could.

And Eve. She's just growing and grinning and gurgling. She's moving around more and more, arching her back, stretching her arms and so close to that final push to roll over. She talks and talks to us - I swear she's going to form full sentences before Josie does. Eve looked right at Pat the other morning while he was walking around the kitchen - not paying attention to her - and screeched. He looked. She smiled. Smart little bugger.

So there's an update on my girls. There's so much more, but not enough time. It's a short work week, so I'd better focus. Happy Thanksgiving to you all - safe travels and enjoy the holiday!

Back in the Saddle

Week 1 back at work is coming to a close. It's gone... surprisingly well. Me, being the worry-wart I am, had built up the horror of getting out of the house in the morning and being here all day to such a level that the ease we've found in making the transition back has been delightfully, well, delightful. Our mornings have gone quite smoothly - Josie hasn't really seemed to mind rising at an earlier hour, she's been excited every day we've pulled into Betty's driveway and Eve has been an absolute peach for us while we get ready to go. I honestly think the whole thing has been hardest on Patrick, who has to get up earlier and function at a higher level right away in the morning than he's been used to for the past few months. Although Brewster is taking it pretty hard, too. He's been spoiled by having someone at home with him all day since the middle of June. Poor dog just hangs his head as we leave the house in the morning. Very sad puppy.

And I can honestly say that I am really enjoying my new assignment. My team has been very welcoming, I'm busy enough so the days have been flying by and it's been great to be back in somewhat familiar territory. So for having to come back to work, it's not too shabby.

Of course, don't get me wrong - I do miss my girls terribly during the day. I find it's best to try not to think about it too much. Which is an almost impossible task. But we're surviving. One day at a time, right?

Bittersweet

I'm sucking up every ounce of Evie and Jo that I can. My maternity leave is at an end and I go back to work on Monday. It's been a bittersweet week. I'm going to welcome the adult interaction, but loathe bundling up and leaving the house at 7:00 in the morning. I'm going to enjoy working with a new team, but miss my kidlets so much I am brought to tears just thinking about it. I'm going to luxuriate in being able to go to the bathroom by myself without a helper right there to tear off toilet paper for me and help me pull up my pants, but will miss my new good friends - Ellen and Oprah :) But the calendar and our empty checking account say that it is time to rejoin the workforce, so what's a girl to do. *sigh*

I guess we have had an eventful couple of weeks, now that I think about it - so I have more to say than I thought. We went to a Halloween party in Spring Lake Park with friends and their kids (a week before Halloween - got good use of borrowed costumes!,) celebrated October birthdays in Pat's family, battled a bug and stayed up with a sick Josie, took the girls to watch Pat's cousin in a high school playoff football game (they got walloped,) Josie and Daddy did a little bit of Trick-or-Treating (just too darn cold for the rest of us,) had a couple of fun playdates with new stay-at-home mommy Meg and kids, and had a Mommy/Daddy/Josie fun day yesterday while Eve went to daycare in Jo's place.

Josie can now officially jump. Not the pretend jumping in the air where her feet don't really leave the ground, but all-out-bend-the-knees-and-catch-some-air jumping. She's so proud. And she discovered walking backwards yesterday. It's a good time. Until she smacks into the wall or doorway. Next year I think we can just have her dress up as a bruise for Halloween. Oh - and she's successfully been sleeping in her big-girl bed for the past week with the aid of a siderail. Whew.


Eve is a roly-poly bundle of joy. She's all smiles (except when she's screaming,) and can grab onto toys or blankets and gravitate them towards her mouth, and rolls to her side with ease. She was so exhausted after her first full day at daycare yesterday that she sucked down a couple of bottles last night and crashed without much complaint, except to shake her little head when she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. Frickin' adorable.

A kick in the tukus

So I've been given a polite reminder via my sis that "no news is good news" only flies for about a week before an update is necessary. Sorry, all. First of all - I don't know where the last week has gone. Or month, for that matter. And secondly... I don't have a secondly. Let me think. What have the Dalys been up to?

Josie turned 21 months old last week. Unreal. She's going to be two before we know it. Then she'll be going to school. Then she'll be driving. And graduating. And crap - I've got to stop, I'm having heart palpatations.

So like I was saying, we decided it was time to give ye old toddler bed a try. Sunday we schlepped the bed into her room, now her AND EVE'S room with the grand idea that it was time for Eve to move into the crib since she's been sleeping through the night. After some minor room adjustments the room was set up to my satisfaction. And seemingly, to Josie's liking, as well, as she climbed and inspected her new "big girl" bed. Nap time on Sunday went swimmingly in the new bed, except it was quite strange for me to have her wake up and get out of the bed on her own and try to open the door to her room. This is scary, uncharted territory.

So we were off to a pretty good start and I was feeling optimistic. Along comes bedtime Sunday night. Josie goes to bed. Pat puts Eve to bed a couple hours later, in the crib, in the same room with Jo. This is monumental. I'm upstairs, apprehensively listening on the baby monitor. After 3 tries, Eve finally falls asleep. 11:30 comes. Josie falls out of bed. We did put a squishy body pillow down in case this happened. Pat puts Jo back in bed. She fell out again around 2:45. Pat put her back again. She was quite confused. 3:45 comes around, and Eve wakes up, screaming. I go get her, and poor Josie is laying there, on her back, wide awake. I get Eve back to sleep after a bottle, and decide not to bother Jo again, so bring Evie back upstairs with us. But I can hear Josie on the monitor, chatting away to herself - for the next hour or so. Pat finally goes down and rocks her, and lets her go back to sleep in her crib. We caved. But the poor kid had a rough night without much sleep so far. In hindsight, we probably should have just let Jo get used to sleeping in the bed before tossing Eve into the mix, but hey - live and learn. So for now, Jo's back in the crib at night while we look for siderails, but napping in the bed during the day, and Eve is back with us at night. We'll get there, eventually.

Eve got over her bout of bronchiolitis and handled the nebulizer treatments just fine. But then on Saturday, our 6 year wedding anniversary, she decided it was time to spike a few high temps and have a very crabby day. So we nixed our night out dinner and movie plans (complete with overnight sitter) and cared for a sick baby instead. Of course, on Sunday, she was peachy fine again. Impeccable timing, Eve. :) The past couple of days she has been reaching out for and grabbing toys and just today she rolled to her side in her play gym. Granted, this move was in order for her to see the television more clearly, but hey - I'll take it. She's already 3 and 1/2 months old and getting so big and animated and... real. You know what I mean, right? When they're newborns they're real... but just kind of squirmy and sleepy and hungry. Now she interacts and smiles and looks for us. So fun.

But this is getting long and babbly and Eve is actually asleep so I should be, too. Patrick is playing hockey tonight, an early game at 9:20. Those boys are crazy. Sometimes their games don't start until 10:30. Insanity, I tell ya. I hope he can play okay... he was complaining about being sore after playing some touch football on Sunday. I told him he's getting old. He didn't appreciate that.

No news is good news?

There's not a whole lot new going on with us right now, which I guess can be a good thing!

Patrick is playing in a fall hockey league on Tuesday nights, Eve is sleeping through the night and keeping us laughing during the day, Josie is growing and learning and challenging and jumping and pretending more and more all the time and I am enjoying my time with them immensely.

I return to work on Monday, November 6th, so am trying (and failing) to hold on to each and every day of my leave as it slips away. But we're making the most of the time I have left and I am so grateful that I am able to spend as long as I have with my girls. It sounds like I'll be returning to the division, albeit a new department, where I have spent most of my time at Minnesota Life, and I am excited for the new assignment and opportunity I've been given. I will continue to work Monday through Thursday and am lucky enough to continue to be able to have Fridays off. It's going to be interesting with two in daycare, so we'll see how we manage after things settle down when I return to work.

Hope all is well with everyone - and Happy Birthday greetings to Becky and Peggles!! Hugs and kisses to you both!

Hey! Check out this book!

"Violette Between" by Alison Strobel

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1578567947

My bookclub read this selection a few months back, and the author is a friend of my friend, Meg. How cool is that? We all enjoyed the story and even got to have a conference call with Alison at our bookclub meeting. So, yes... we do talk about the books!! :) Alison is doing a blog tour to promote her book, so please, check it out!

A synopsis:
Violette is the quintessential artist: passionate, emotional and full of life. After suffering a great loss she finds herself enamoured with a new relationship and asking if it is truly time to move on.Christian lost his wife years ago and understands Violette's pain firsthand. He offers her a chance to love once more and hopes to build a future with the spirited artist. But just as Violette and Christian begin to feel something unexpected, tragedy strikes again. Violette retreats into her past - and she finds that she may not want to comeback. This is a captivating novel that asks what is more precious: the memories of one who is gone or the memories waiting to be made with someone new?

If you want, check out Alison's website and her blog.

Enjoy!

Take a look...

Above: There's nothing better than playing in the leaves at night. Josie thinks she's quite fabulous in her animal print hat passed down from Cousin Emilie.
Eve is all smiles in her massage chair... actually, I have to look, but I think I have an almost identical picture of Josie in the same outfit and same chair.

Above: This is the day of Bob and Steffi's wedding. Steffi made the mistake of laying her sunglasses on the table. Josie thinks she is also quite fabulous in sunglasses. And, of course, she is.
And here is Mason, who just HAD to hold Eve. Eve doesn't look so sure about the whole deal. "How old is this kid anyway? Does he have a license to hold me??"

Above: Caught in the act. Those two are quite the dynamic duo. This is a very common scene in our house.
And Eve, again, all smiles. :)

Wheezy, Raspy, Hacky, Snotty, Squirmy, Sleepy and Smiley AND a bit of divine intervention?

No - not the new 7 dwarfs - just our Evie. I took her to the doc yesterday (sad news, the new doctor we just started seeing is moving her practice closer to her home in Ham Lake and leaving our clinic. bummer.) as the cold she'd been battling off and on for the past few weeks got a lot worse over the weekend. After checking her out and taking a chest x-ray, she was diagnosed as having bronchiolitis. So we have to get her set up for nebulizer treatments and then take her back in on Thursday. Bring on the cold and flu season - can't wait, it's already off to a smashing start.

On a different note, as some of you may know, we've been having a problem with the passenger-side sliding door on our minivan as of late. The automatic lock didn't want to unlock, and it was very inconvenient having to heft Josie in and out without the convenience of the sliding door.

Anyway, we hadn't made the time to take a serious look at it, and we'd occasionally yank on it a bit and hope for the best, but to no avail. Well, we went to church on Sunday, and afterwards Pat was in the van leaning over the passenger front seat to buckle Josie in, while I was leaning against the van, hitting the unlock button and pulling on the sliding door lock, hoping it might just decide to give in and open for us. As I was doing so, Pat made some offhanded comment about how during the petitions he should have prayed for God to fix the door on our van. I'm not kidding you, after weeks of hoping we'd hit unlock and it would open, and getting no results... I hit the button one more time, and it unlocked. We were a little speechless and quite frankly, freaked out all the way home. Hmm. Perhaps we'll make it to church a little more often. :)

Ups and Downs

Wow. So Pat and I, being the impulsive crazy cats we are, decided that we NEEDED to go to the Twins playoff game yesterday. Pat headed to work, and ended up finding someone selling tickets online. We were prepared to go to the 'dome without tix in hopes of finding someone outside selling if we needed to. But we didn't have to resort to that, Pat got the tix, I took Eve to play at Daycare Betty's with her sister for the day and we hopped the express metro transit bus to downtown Minneapolis. It was a beautiful day, and I was soooo excited! The bus ride only took 20 minutes, we got dropped off right in front of the 'dome, and Pat and I enjoyed some highly overpriced beer and fatty foods on the plaza before gametime. What luxury! A day without kids, yummy corndogs, and a post-season baseball game. We felt like we were being so naughty and sneaky, skipping out on the kids and work to go and play - it was great!

Ohh ohh, AND, I won a free t-shirt out on the plaza, too! Yippee - could things get any better? Yes, they could! We ended up being only 4 sections away from Meg and Joel, so could wave and make obscene gestures at them, and count how many beers Joel consumed and trips to the bathroom he made (just kidding, Joel!) - it was almost as good as actually GOING to the game with them! And we knew of about 3 or 4 other friend-couples at the game, too. So fun!

Well - all was going along swimmingly. The game was exciting, back-to-back homeruns to tie up the game made the strangers around us feel like our best friends, and we thought FOR SURE we were leaving with victory in our hands.

But everything fell apart in the 7th. Poor Torii. Pat just told me this morning that it was exactly 4 years ago to the day that Torii did the same thing... and we were at THAT game, too. How sad. Perhaps we should think about passing on going to postseason baseball games from now on. Extreme happiness turned to deflated depression in the blink of an eye. So we left the Metrodome with heavy hearts, then to add insult to injury, had to wait forEVER for a bus back to downtown St. Paul, and the bus ride was not only packed, but excruciatingly slow. But we're not giving up hope yet... it's not over! If anyone can do it, our Twinkies can. They just have to, it's been such a fun season.

So my little Eve-rs had her 2-month shots this morning, finally. She's had the sniffles and coughs off and on, so I waited to have her get them... but finally decided she shouldn't wait any longer. She screamed, the nurses bolted, and now all is well. Hopefully she takes them as well as Josie always did. She is such a trooper. All smiles and coos - she was so happy this morning, it was like she just couldn't smile any bigger and happiness just oozed out of every pore. She's such a sweet pea.

What's new?

So much going on lately. Here's an update:

• Eve is sleeping through the night. The past few nights she has gone from 10:30 or 11:30 pm until anywhere from 5:00 to 7:00 am.
• We are cautiously optimistic that this sleepy trend will continue!
• Last Friday my Mom, Erwin, my sister-cousin Julie (it's a long story, don't ask!) and her son, Mason came up for a day visit. Josie had a very good time playing with all of Mason's fun farm toys. Julie - there's a round bail here at my house, hope Mason hasn't missed it :)
• Saturday we went to a courthouse wedding for our friends Bob and Steffi. Then to dinner at Olive Garden and to a mini-reception at Bob's place. The wedding was decided on and planned in about 10 days, and the ceremony took about 2 minutes! It was a beautiful day outside and we were so honored to be able to celebrate with Bob and Steffi! Congrats!
• Sunday continued with more beautiful weather and a golf outing for Patrick. While he was golfing, the girls and I went to watch some of the Twin Cities Marathon with the Gronaus, minus Joel, who was golfing with Pat. I am so happy that I have friends like Meg who bring me out of my cave once in a while and make me experience something new. I had a blast, and Josie loved being outside and playing with Lucy.
• Sunday evening we went for a walk to enjoy more of the beautiful day. For a change of pace, we've been visiting a different playground than the one down the street from our house. Just to mix it up a bit. We're wild and crazy that way.
• Yesterday I took the girls down to my sister's house where we celebrated my Mom's birthday. It was an impromptu party that turned out to be just "the girls." So much fun... and so much yummy food! Thanks, Sissy!

I have some fun pictures of some of this stuff that I'll try to post soon. Right now, I'm going to go enjoy the luxury of a shower. Happy Wednesday... and GO TWINS!!!

Oh... I was going to tell you that Josie's favorite new show is "Dancing With the Stars." She dances, and twirls, and stomps, and smiles while the contestants are dancing... it is ADORABLE. She even makes Pat and I get up and dance with her. So fun.

Darn

Apparently, the "Evie Sleepy Through the Nighty" show was only in town for one night. Haven't been lucky enough to catch a repeat performance. *sigh* Oh, well. It was one heck of a show while it lasted.

Josie has discovered the fine art of the zerbert. Perhaps that isn't the correct spelling, or pronunciation - but you know what I mean, right? Putting your lips on the bare skin of another and blowing, which makes a lovely fart sound? Yeah. So I'm covered in drool ala Josephine because she doesn't quiet get it right every time, and insisted on getting my shins, and arms, and belly all day today. There's nothing quite like getting spit on by a 20-month old. Well, your own, at least. Perhaps getting the gift of zerbert from someone else's 20-month old wouldn't be as joyous.

shhhhhh.

i am going to say it really quietly and really quickly and maybe i won't jinx us... eve slept through the night last night - 11:00 pm to 6:00 am. yahoo. :)

The littlest Clay fan?

Here is Josie this morning, on the couch, enraptured by Clay Aiken's performance on "The View."







Here I am, during the same performance. NOT the biggest Clay fan.














And I think he gave Eve gas.

Holy Crap - both of my kids are napping at the same time!

I don't know what to do! Do I nap? Do I clean? Do I do laundry, shower, balance the checkbook, workout? Ahh! I think I'll just sit here in the quiet and do nothing - ooh, I know, maybe I'll have a snack... Oh, the endless possibilities!! Carpe Diem, Carpe Diem!

My Little Pony

I finally made it to a Fall Festival at St. Jerome's. It turned out to be a beautiful end-of-summer day, and boy, does it feel like fall tonight. Following mass in the big tent complete with contemporary music, we ate a little lunch, walked a little cake-walk and rode a little pony. Josie loved running around the cars at the car show and Eve slept away content in her carrier. Here are pictures of Josie's first pony ride and Eve giving me big smiles the other night.

Sidenote - I just did a spell check before publishing this post, and it gave me the suggestion to replace cake-walk with gazelles. ???

Eve's 2 month check-up

Eve and I met with the clinic's new doctor on Thursday for her 2 month appointment. I was very impressed with Dr. Carpenter and think that I will request to have her as Eve and Josie's primary physician. The appointment went well, although we do have to go back on Tuesday so that Evie-do can get her shots. She has the sniffles and the doctor recommended that we try to wait until she's cleared up before getting her shots. Her stats:
Weight: 11 lbs. 3 oz.
Height: 22 1/2 in.
I don't remember what her head measurement was. Oh well. It's written down somewhere. She's in the 35th percentile for both height and weight.

Josie's stats at 2 months:
Weight: 11 lbs. 11 oz.
Height: 21 3/4 in.
Strange how fast memory fades. Here I thought Eve was so much smaller than Josie was. Guess not.

We had our first family outing to White Castle last night after going to Pat's cousin Alex's football game at Central High School. What a sight we must have been trucking into the one on University Ave (of all places!) all fair-skinned and red-haired with toddler and baby in tow. It was a lovely experience except for the customer who was threatening to kill the cashier when she got off her shift because they were too slow with the food. Good times. Gotta love the ghetto.

My Girls

Eve and Brewster












Smiley











To poo or not to poo... that is the question














Fun in the rain at Great Grandma Janet's











Our first family outing to a Twins game. Obviously, it was way past Josie's bedtime.

Finding Carol

I'm not going to lie. These past 8 weeks have been hard. Really hard. The second time around the childbirth track, I was thrown into a tailspin by how inadequate I felt. My emotions were all over the place and I found myself beating myself up over, well, everything. There is a societal expectation that once one gives birth, there is this euphoria, this glowing light that is "Motherhood." And I gotta tell ya, I was having trouble finding the light.

I think I mentioned before that I started to worry that perhaps I was dealing with a bout of postpartum depression. But after talking with my doc, we decided that I wasn't. And after an even more helpful appointment with my bookclub friends, accompanied by a couple of tasty margaritas, I realized that what I was dealing with was a case of unrealistic expectations. I expected newborn Eve to be like newborn Josie. She isn't, and shouldn't be. I expected to breastfeed this time. After all, I wanted it to work so badly. It didn't, and that's okay. I expected to have twice the motherly love now that I have two children. I guess that's not quite how it works.

It's funny how much difference a little perspective, and sleep, can make on a dreary outlook. And Eve turned a corner over the weekend. Even though she's far from sleeping through the night, she showed her exhausted parents that there is the possibility that she will sleep through the night someday, and that's good enough for me, for right now.

I had a "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" moment on Saturday. Eve had finished eating and I turned her so that she lay on my lap with her head by my knees, propped up, looking at me. She contemplated me with her big, blue eyes for a few minutes and I felt like she was trying to tell me something. Then, she gave me a genuine, ear-to-ear smile (no, it wasn't gas,) and I felt my heart grow three sizes that day. Of course, I've loved her since she was born, but in a primal "I have to take care of you because you're my offspring" kind of way. But that has changed. Now I can say that I have found "Motherhood" again. It's messy, and smelly, far from perfect and a heck of a lot of work, but it finally feels right.

Eve, if you ever read this, please know that none of this really had anything to do with you. It was me. You are exactly as you should be. And I am, too. It just took me a while to figure that out and forgive myself for it. I'm doing the best I can, and I always will.

If you think you've lost something, check under Pat's butt

I don't know about you, but I tend to look before I leap, I mean, sit. But I guess not everyone finds this a necessary behavior. Josie and I spent 10 minutes last night looking everywhere for her blankie. "Is it in your room, Josie?" So we toddle off to the bedroom to look. Nope. "Is it in the playroom, Josie?" We toddle off to the playroom to look. Nope. "Is it in the living room, Josie?" Back to the living room to look. Don't see it. And while I'm growing more confused because Blankie had just been present 15 minutes earlier, Josie is following behind throwing her hands in the air asking "where'd it go?" Finally, I'm standing in the living room wondering if the dog somehow managed to eat a 3' x 3' baby blanket when I see a glimpse of fabric underneath Pat's behinder on the couch. Ah ha. After Josie got over being upset that Daddy was on her blanket, she was awfully relieved to have it back.

And in Evie news, everyday she is more and more alert. She's having more awake time during daytime hours, and is smiling, cooing and searching for faces to entertain her. There's nothing quite like a baby's gummy smile. She'll be 8 weeks old next Monday, and I was quite excited to get a newsletter from her clinic in the mail today and see that they've hired a new doctor - a woman - who specializes in women's health and pediatrics. So I made an appointment with her for Eve's 2 month checkup, and hopefully, we like her. I've not been overly thrilled with the girls' temporary doctor since their regular physician left because she was pregnant with triplets (and already has 2 children - yikes.) And I'm guessing she's not coming back. I'll keep you posted on Eve's stats!

The joy of... saying goodbye?

We had a mini family reunion on my side of the family at my Gram's over the weekend, and even though Josie had been waving and saying goodbye for quite some time now, she really got into it for some reason on Sunday. As people were leaving, she zealously waved and said "BI-YEEEEEEEE," while they were leaving and even well after they were gone. As we left, she waved and said "BI-YEEEEEEE." And she continued to wave and say "BI-YEEEEEEE," all the way through Rochester on the way home. That's a solid half hour of farewells.

Then yesterday I took the girls in to work to visit with co-workers. You guessed it, we were saying goodbye to everyone we passed on the way out of downtown, and all the cars we saw on the highway on the way home. BI-YEEEEEE for now, more later!

Pictures, pictures, who wants pictures?

This is the story of a girl

As promised - finally, Eve's birth story.

Monday, July 17th, 2006.

A "normal" day on bedrest.

My sister, Kay, called me in the morning and asked if I was in labor. Um, no - I'm pretty sure I would know, right? She said that she just didn't feel good, and didn't know why. We have this weird, almost twin-like thing going on with one another sometimes. We show up at family events wearing identical outfits, one will call the other when the other was just thinking of the one and we both hit our heads at the exact same time when getting in the car together- that kind of stuff. Anyway, after my conversation with her, my day progressed in the same, exciting manner as all of my days on bedrest. I don't remember exact details, but I'm sure it consisted of some daytime television and a nap. I did feel a bit crampy, but didn't think anything of it.

5:30 p.m. I was getting antsy as Patrick and Josie were not home yet. Looking back, I was in a pretty crabby mood. Still feeling crampy.

5:50 p.m. Pat and Josie arrived home. We had supper, Pat made turkey burgers. I didn't feel that great, but was still clueless that anything was going on.

7:30 p.m. We were preparing to get Josie ready for bed. I was half sitting, half laying on the couch. Josie was playing by me, I did something that required leaning up, sneezed 3 times, and on the last sneeze felt a painful popping sensation "down there." Uh oh. I didn't gush, but knew that my water had broken. My water broke with Josie, as well, although this time it hurt. I head for the bathroom, and Pat takes Josie to her room for bedtime.

7:45 p.m. I took the phone with me to the bathroom and called the hospital. They said to head in as soon as possible. Pat called his mom, she had her bag packed and headed out the door to come to our house to stay with Josie. Thank goodness she didn't dawdle. I started to have contractions almost immediately after my water broke. Pretty big ones. Pretty painful ones. I paced the floor in the kitchen, stopping occasionally to hold onto the table or stove. Pat flew through the house finishing cleaning up the kitchen and feeding the pets while I got my bag and made sure we had everything we needed. Pat's mom arrives. We give fast and furious instructions for the pets and Josie.

8:05 p.m. We left for the hospital. Big, fat contractions the whole way there. I also was having severe back pain. I didn't experience this with Josie, thank goodness. It was not fun. We briefly discuss the fact that we don't have a name picked out yet. Crap.

8:15 p.m. Arrive at Woodwinds. It's after hours, so we have to use the emergency room entrance to the hospital. We get our room, our nurse, Betsy, and I get into my gown. I remember looking at the clock when I came out of the bathroom, it was 8:30. Betsy checked me, I was dilated to a 6 1/2. The back pain made things particularly unbearable. My breathing exercises were getting me through, and I think that if I was not having back labor, I probably would have made it without any drugs. Betsy asked me what I wanted to do. I wanted relief. She ordered the epidural. Pat and I give a weak attempt at resolving the name issue. Funny sidenote - as we're talking, he asks me something to the effect of "you thought the name Betsy sounded like a cow, right?" I shoot him a death ray look, and twitch my head in the direction of our nurse, who is standing right behind me. Oops. He apologizes profusely. Betsy takes it like a trooper. I find it even funnier considering 1. we were never seriously thinking of the name "Betsy," and 2. the cow is Bessie, not Betsy. I'm not sure where that came from.

9:00 p.m. The anesthesiologist arrives. I am experiencing pain like I have never felt before. Hypnobirth, schmipnobirth - pain is pain, and I was feeling plenty of it. The epidural is in by 9:15, but it takes 10 - 15 minutes to kick in. I'm starting to feel the urge to push. I tell Betsy this, she tries to hide the concern in her face and voice, but I see and hear it. She nonchalantly says that she'd better check me again - I'm fully dilated. My doctor has not arrived yet. She leaves the room discreetly and gets the charge nurse. She says it's just to see how things are going, but I know it's just in case Dr. Rolando doesn't make it in time.

9:30 p.m. Dr. Rolando arrives. I'm doing everything I can to not push. I think it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I can feel the baby. The epidural finally kicks in. Too little, too late. At least I had it for the pushing part, and the stitches afterwards, but since I felt the contractions all the way up to a 10, I may as well have experienced the full gamut. Doc Ro suits up, sits down, and then we wait. The epidural is finally in full effect, and now I don't feel the contractions. I am still feeling a lot of pressure, so we just go for it. I started my first push at the end of one contraction. Waited for the next, got 2 good pushes in and baby was pretty much out. I guess there was part of the cord and an arm coming out with the head. Dr. Rolando asks if I want to wait for the next contraction, or just go for it. I say "let's just do it," and push. Baby is out. It's 9:46 p.m. It's a girl :) 7 lbs. 5 oz., crying loudly, 19 1/2 inches. No name. That came 2 hours later after much debate between Claudia and Genevieve.


Welcome, Genevieve Kathryn Daly.

God Bless You, Enfamil

Eve just wasn't buyin' what my body was sellin'. After some sleepless nights and tear-filled days, I decided to hang up the breastfeeding hat. And I have to say, thank goodness. Eve is now eating up and plumping up, and we're a much happier household overall. Her bouts of what we assumed was colic have lessened and basically ended, and she will sleep and eat with a little more regularity now. I was beginning to worry that my "baby blues" were possibly a bit more than that, but I think it was just the stress of the breast that was the cause of concern. Piled on top of next-to-no-sleep, and not getting to take a shower for days on end. No good. But things are looking up. They really weren't that bad to begin with, really.

Let's see - fun stuff in the past week:

My high school friend, Kari and her boyfriend, Brent were able to stop by for a visit last Thursday. Wonderful to see her and meet him.

We decided to take a day-trip and travel down to Chatfield for Western Days last Saturday. Josie loved the parade. And mini donuts. And french fries. And her first carnival ride. It was a blast.

Josie is now saying "thank you" all the time. And "all done." They're not perfectly clear, but I know what she's saying ;) And I think she said "bad puppy" the other day when Brewster laid on her blankie. She also will now shake her head up and down to indicate "yes." A very dramatic shaking of the head. She's so fun.

Most little kids enjoy music, as does Josie. But you usually will hear fun kid music from a house with toddlers, but that is not always the case around here. I don't know if I ever wrote about how she loved the song "Iron Man" when she was around 1 year old... and now her love for metal appears to continue. As I was leaving the house on Sunday (all by myself, I must add - wheeeee!) I left Pat and Josie in the kitchen listening to Quiet Riot's "Bang Your Head." *sigh* And yes, they both were actually banging their heads.

Who says a sleep deprivation chamber can't be cozy?

Eve is now 3 weeks old. At this time exactly 3 weeks ago, I was changing into my lovely hospital gown and sliding the belly band into place at Woodwinds, while having intense contractions. For those of you who currently enjoy the luxury of a full night's sleep... please enjoy some for me and don't ever, ever take this precious gift for granted again. :) Wowsers, I don't function well with only 2 hour or less chunks of sleep at a time. Hopefully we're as lucky with this one as we were with Josie and she takes to sleeping through the night at an early age. If not, hopefully I adjust soon. If that ever truly happens!

Let's see - what's new? We had our first Family of Four outing last Friday night and went out to dinner together. It went well - although I spent the last half hour or so walking around the restaurant holding Josie's hand, her new favorite thing to do, while Pat fed a screaming Eve. Perhaps I just have a short memory, but Eve seems so different from Josie. Which she has every right to, it's just weird. She has a very short fuse, and is quite temperamental. She wants what she wants when she wants it, end of story. Don't get me wrong, she's only 3 weeks and still sleeps a lot and is quite sweet... but when she's hungry or has gas, you and the next door neighbors are going to hear about it.

My Josie is adjusting to Life With Eve. She checks to see where she is constantly, and stops what she's doing and points when Evie starts to cry. She's been "giving" her sister things lately - I will find an extra blanket, nuk or activity book in Eve's infant seat or pack 'n play quite frequently. And Eve is now included in Josie's list of goodnight kisses. Pat pointed out that the years of poking have begun as Josie is constantly poking a forefinger at some part of Eve's body. How little sisters and brothers manage not to lose an eye to overzealous older siblings is beyond me.

Jo has been starting to add some words and phrases to her vocab in the last few days. She said "all done," "huggie," and "thank you," and is constantly saying something resembling "wowie" that I can't quite figure out. We spent some time coloring today and she's eager to "help" us whenever she can - for example, tonight she helped us clear the dishes from the supper table and put them in the sink. She adores the kiddie pool and thinks she's big enough to walk around stores on her own now. We spend a lot of time looking at the wheels on lawnmowers and pushing buttons on everything in stores that has buttons. She also has started to show interest in potty training - we put the potty in our bathroom, but my heart and patience and attention just isn't quite there yet. But I guess maternity leave would be the perfect time to get it done.


I know - it's a little late, but here is a preggo picture of me many of you requested. Oh man - I just tried to upload a bunch more pictures... and a blogger error hit. *sigh* Sorry. Ugh. More pictures to come later.
Eve is calling - gotta go for now. :)

Where to start?

Oh yeah - we had a baby. That's a good place to begin :)

On Monday, July 17th at 9:46 p.m. at Woodwinds Hospital in Woodbury, MN.
Genevieve Kathryn Daly.
We call her Eve.
She was 7 lbs. 5 oz., and 19 1/2 inches long.
She made her quick entrance into the world screaming at the top of her lungs.

I promise to have pictures to post and a full birth story, SOON. She is beautiful and perfect and healthy and everything we prayed for.

I am doing well, and feel pretty much totally healed already. We have been having struggles with breastfeeding, some successes and mostly failures, but we're plugging along.

Dad is doing well, coping with the lack of sleep quite well. Incredibly supportive of my swinging moods and raging hormones.

Big sister Josie is adjusting. It was a rough first couple of days. Sharing her world is not easy, but she is starting to realize that there is room enough for both of them on our laps and in our hearts.

I have a hungry baby to tend to. Hmm, I wonder when she had a diaper change last?... more to come.

Sunday, Sunday

And nothing to report. Contractions start, contractions stop. Cramping starts, cramping stops. And so we wait. I'd like to say that it will be soon... but I just don't know. I FEEL like it will be soon... but I guess the baby gets the final say. I need ice cream. That much I can control.

37 Weeks??!

Can it be? I've officially carried a baby to a point safely called "full term." Amazing!

I'm off the Terbutaline. It's been 2 doses not taken now... not that I'm keeping track or anything. :) All day yesterday I was having contractions off and on, nothing worth keeping tabs on, but having them nonetheless. And today I felt crampy - although it could have just been the anticipation of today's appointment and going off the meds.

Speaking of which - here are today's stats:
I'm dilated to a "stretchy 2."
BP 114/78
Belly - 36 cm
Baby heartbeat - 150
Weight - up 1 lb.

Dr. Ro freaked me out today when he checked me and said that not only was I at a 2, but that baby's head is "right there," and that whenever I go, he thinks it will be quick, so he'll have his running shoes ready. I know second babies can come fast - but hearing him say it put me even more on edge!

Oh - and he asked me if I wanted him to strip my membranes today. wh - WHAT??!! That took me by surprise, and I think I sat there for a few moments with my mouth hanging open. It was totally up to me, and I decided that going off the Terb was enough excitement for one day. If I'm still hanging on to this baby a week from now, then we can talk more about stripping. Membranes, that is.

So, here we are. Waiting for something to happen. I don't have to be technically "on bedrest" any longer - but I'm at the point where getting up, walking around and being on my feet in general gets a bit difficult. Baby has "dropped" (I think in the womb is the only time where it's acceptable to drop a baby!) as I'm feeling a LOT of pressure down low and have to visit the bathroom much more frequently. But taking a nice, deep breath is easier now, so everything has an upside.

Patrick took the afternoon off and we went to Snuffy's Maltshop for - of course, a malt, and burgers, then went to the cheapie theater to see MI3. Perhaps our last "date" for a few weeks??

Josie is very into combing her own hair lately, and tonight thought that our cat, Baxter, needed his hair combed, too. Stinkin' cute. :) Baxter was less than enthused, to say the least.

More to come - have a good evening!

Hallelujah!

THAT was the longest 2 1/2 weeks of my life. No e-mail. No blogs. No instant connection to my "blogosphere." Finally, with the help of a not-so-helpful data security department, Patrick was able to get the whole internet connection via work thing figured out and I'm back up and running. I feel like a kid in a candy store, I don't even know where to begin. But, if something should happen again, please be patient (this is mainly a note to myself!) and I'll be updating as soon as I can. The verdict on our home computer is not good right now, so we are going to get a second opinion, or have to buy a new one. So, no picture updates for a while, sorry.

Even though it's been a couple of weeks... there really isn't much to update you on. Bedrest is bedrest, and it pretty much blows goats. I try to nap, I read, I watch tv and I watch movies. And that's about it. For the sake of my back and hips, I have to get up and move around, so am naughty and still do a bit of laundry and such now and again. Don't even think about chastising me until you spend over 2 weeks laying around doing nothing! I'm trying to "enjoy" some time alone before the chaos of adding another child to our family begins. So I stop and listen to the quiet and take a bath now and again to remind myself of the simple things that I may not be able to do soon. But it is very hard to say goodbye to my husband and little girl every morning - I miss them terribly during the day and would much rather have them here with me.

Let's see... I had my 35 week doc appointment on June 30th. I had lost 1 lb. since the previous week, my belly still measured at 34 cm and my blood pressure was good. The doctor did not check me as his philosophy right now is to "leave well enough alone." I had not been having regular contractions and he's going to hold off checking to see what I'm dilated to until 37 weeks. Oh - and he gave me the option to decide whether I wanted to stay on the Terbutaline until 37 weeks, as well. Which I did decide to do to give baby the best shot at being able to latch on so we can successfully breastfeed, since Josie was not able to.

And I made it to 36 weeks! Yahoo! I had my check-up last Friday, blood pressure was 112/66, my weight was up 3 lbs. since the previous week and belly measured right on 36 cm. So far, so good. I was feeling some regular contractions before I got out of bed that morning, and had also felt a bit crampy on the 4th of July, so was a bit anxious as I waited to see my doctor, but all is well. I will be going off the meds this Thursday, and will have another doc check that day, too. And this time, he will check my cervix to see if anything is going on "down there." So... my nerves are a little rattled as we approach the big day. It's hard looking ahead to the next few weeks - and days - and not know what to expect! Although, we, or at least, I, am feeling ready. We're very excited to meet our new little one!

Miss Josie has been doing very well through all this. She's had a great time hamming it up with some of my family that has been able to come up and spend time with us during this fiasco. We're being challenged by her every day, and seeing new facets of her personality all the time. She is such a big girl now. She's sitting in a booster chair and loves to be at the table with us, and is getting pretty good at using a spoon and fork to feed herself. She loves to dance, and still relishes any time she can spend playing outside. Of course, along with that, the tantrums at having to come back inside have intensified, but we're trying our best to hold strong and ignore the fits. She's a riot running around the house yelling "go, go, go!" and has gotten good at putting books and toys away when we ask her to - most of the time. Still waiting for her to start using more words so we can understand what it is she's trying to tell us she wants, which usually ends up in a fit because we just don't get what she's pointing at and whining about :) The highlight of my day is hearing Daddy and Josie walk in the door and to see her run across the kitchen yelling "Mommom" coming to give me a hug. I could just eat her up.

That's probably enough for now. I'll do my best to keep the updates coming. Thank you all so much for your support and to all of you who have called, sent flowers, sent messages or stopped by.

Oh - and no, we do not have a name picked out yet. Sore subject. Perhaps we'll pass a street sign or something on the way to the hospital and be inspired with the perfect name. *sigh* :)

Love and miss you all terribly. Later - Carol

Well. THAT will teach me to keep my mouth shut. A 34 week update.

So. The last time I posted, I got to tell you how everything was going so well, I was feeling good, and would hopefully be hanging on for a few more weeks. That hasn't necessarily changed, BUT.

Let's back-up to Tuesday morning.

I posted. Then I went to the bathroom. Then I passed my "m.p." And I am not going to go into detail about what that is... if you know, great, if not - you'll have to do your own research. Sorry. Then I was feeling quite crampy for the next couple of hours and was having some lower-back pain that was different from any I had previously had. So I put in a call to a triage nurse at my clinic (my doctor happens to have Tuesdays off - how handy) who, after listening to my story, suggested that I speak with the Labor and Delivery department. So I retrieved the number from the list of "emergency" numbers stored in my head, and gave them a call. They wanted me to come in to be monitored right away. After a quick call to Pat, we were off to Woodwinds Hospital.

I was hooked up and being monitored by 4:00, where I remained until about 10:00. I was having contractions, and after what felt like a very in-depth check from nurse Joyce, who had been my nurse during my entire labor with Josie, it was declared that I had dilated to a 1 1/2. This is not that unusual for someone at my stage, but considering that I had just been checked last Thursday and was only a "fingertip," they were slightly concerned. Throughout the evening, I was given a couple shots of Terbutaline to increase the dosage in my system, and a shot of Betamethasone - a steroid to strengthen baby's lungs just in case something were to happen within the next 48 hours.

The time I spent off my feet along with the increased Terbutaline seem to do the trick. My contractions lessened, although they did declare that I have a "sensitive" uterus due to the fact that anytime I had any urine in my bladder, I would start contracting. So that means LOTS of trips to the bathroom for me. Oh - and did I mention that I am now on bedrest? Yup. Bedrest - again. *sigh*

So, Wednesday I got so speak with my own doctor, who thankfully rescinded the other doctor's directions for me to be connected to a Terbutaline pump, and I had to go back to L and D for my second shot of Betamethasone, and today I had a quick check-up just to listen to baby, measure my belly and see how things were going in general. Dr. Ro refrained from actually "checking" me since there's been enough poking and prodding going on in that general area recently. Thank goodness. :) My blood pressure was great at 100/60, I gained 1 lb. in the last week, and my belly measured right on at 34 cm.

The course of action for me for the next couple of weeks is the oral Terbutaline pill every 4 hours until I'm 36 weeks, along with strict bedrest, only up to go to the bathroom. And I am trying. I really am. It's a hard adjustment to make, especially with a toddler. I am blessed, truly blessed, with the most wonderful husband in the world. No offense to any of your respective significant others out there. :) But he is absolutely wonderful for stepping up and doing his best to make this situation easier for us all. And my support network of a-maz-ing friends and wonderful family gets me though each day. Thank you to all of you.

Sorry for the lack of updates the last couple of days - I was going insane as our home computer is still out of commission, and we couldn't get the internet connection through work for Pat's laptop to work. Ugh. Then I had to stop in to work this afternoon to drop off some paperwork and clean out my desk and whatnot, and they had already disabled my account at work, so I couldn't even log on and update there! But thankfully, we got the internet connection figured out at home, and there you have it. So please do not e-mail me at work for, oh, the next 5 months or so. You may use our home account, crazydalys@yahoo.com, if you have anything for me. Otherwise, I'll try to keep up-to-date on this site, and you can certainly reach me at home by phone. I'll be here. And I can give you the most current Days Of Our Lives update if you want. :)

Holy Cow!

What a whirlwind the past few days have been! Here's what's been happening with us:

Thursday, June 15th -
I had my 33 week checkup. Good news! Nothing has changed since my last visit 2 weeks ago. Whew! What a relief. I didn't realize just how stressed out about that visit I was until it was over. I'm kinda feeling like I'm sailing through uncharted territory, at least, as far as my pregnancy experiences are concerned. Sure, I'm still on the Terbutaline, but at 32 weeks with Josie, I was put on bedrest. So here I am at 33 1/2 weeks, still walking around and going to work like nobody's business! Yahoo! Here are my other stats:

BP: 130/76. High for me, but still not terrible.
Belly measurement: 32 cm
Weight: Up 1 lb.
Baby heartbeat: Doc was a little concerned at the fast pace of baby's heart. I think it was up between 160 and 170 when he measured - which is probably due to the Terbutaline. But he wanted me to stay and have a non-stress test, just in case. And the results were just fine.

So everything is going very well, and I'm feeling pretty good. The swelling is continuing to increase in my hands and feet, and sleep is hit-or-miss, but it certainly isn't anything I can't live with. I'm supposed to take the Terbutaline until I'm 36 weeks... so we'll take everything one day at a time and see what happens. But I'm hopeful that as long as I continue to not dilate that I'll be able to go full-term, or at least closer to it, this time around. I will have another appointment at 35 weeks.

And to top off my good news day, I got to meet a couple of friends for dinner and a movie. Bonus!

Oh - and just as a side note, I feel like we're back to square one with the name thing. My friend, Nicole, was kind enough to loan me this cool baby name book, and now we're not nearly as close to picking a name as we thought we might be. *sigh* But you know what, I'm done with the polls. No offense, but I've decided I really don't care what ya'll think. :) So whatever name we go with could be a complete surprise to you. Or not. You'll just have to wait and see!

Friday, June 16th -
Josie and I met Patrick at work where we bought a double stroller from a co-worker who had posted one for sale on our internal want ads. Another thing I can cross off my list! Then Jo and I ran a couple of errands - we got double whammied this weekend with Patrick's 30th birthday on Saturday and Father's Day on Sunday, so had some last-minute shopping to finish up. Home for lunch and nappy time, then that evening we went out to dinner, just the 3 of us. It was quite nice.

Saturday, June 17th -
Happy Birthday, Pat! Opened presents, cleaned house, played with Josie, ran errands and met Pat's family at Governor's for dinner. Then back to our house for presents, cake and ice cream.

Sunday, June 18th -
Happy Father's Day, Pat! A laid-back day. We even made it to church. The weather was quite nice, not nearly as humid as it had been the previous couple of days. Trust me, that means a lot to a 8 months pregnant woman, and to those who have to be around her! We went over to Pat's parent's house for a quick visit after Josie woke up from her afternoon nap.

And here we are. Well into another work week, and Josie has been just a delight lately. For every bit that she continues to challenge us, she is also just that much more fun and lovable and silly. We've been bombarded with kisses and hugs, pushed to the limit with defiance and meltdowns, and constantly amazed at how smart she is. Everything is to the extreme with her right now, and it's definitely keeping us on our toes.

Patience is a Virtue. Or so the saying goes.

And I'm going to test yours one. more. time. Vote for a girl name, again. Please. Sorry - I forgot that we're working on manners in our house.

As far as middle names... we're not sure. Katherine and Diane have been put on the table. Or not. Let's get the first name thing down first.

What about Baby Girl Daly? That has a nice ring to it. And it's probably going to be the one at the rate we're going...

Break my heart

So she finally did it. Josie cried big, fat, real tears and was reaching for us as we left her at daycare this morning. So far, she's always practically jumped into Betty's arms and given her kisses - which has always reassured me that we were doing an okay thing by having someone else watch her.

But we knew this day would come and we were dreading it. Now I know why.

Makes coming to work seem pretty meaningless.

I know it's a rollercoaster and there will be plenty of days when she's going to cry and not want to leave daycare. But at least we get to take her home after that battle.

My Life - In Lists

Things that Josie is up to lately:
1. Kisses. Lots and lots of kisses for Mom, Dad, Brewster and even a cat here and there.
2. Tippy-toes. Stop walking, up on tippy-toes. Reach for something, up on tippy-toes.
3. Reading. Okay - not really, but pretending. Very serious pretend reading out loud.
4. Stacking. Loves her stackable cups. Figuring out what fits in them, and what they fit in. On that same note - we'll find her cups in the garbage, her bath toys in the laundry hamper and her baby doll in my purse.
5. Grunting. I made the mistake of grunting and asking her, when she attempted to pick up my full water bottle, if it was heavy. So now she grunts when she picks up everything. Or bends over. You can probably guess why she's doing that, considering the difficulty I'm having in bending over lately. :)
6. Name that body part. Points to head, nose, mouth, ears, eyes, belly and expects you to name it. Can't quite say the body parts yet, but is getting close.
7. Nose-picking. Finger is constantly up the nose. Toddlers are such disgusting, but lovable, little creatures.
8. Pointing. At everything.
9. Question hands. She'll "say" something that sounds like a question, and put her hands up near her head.
10. Dirty feet anger. If she's walking around barefoot and gets something on the bottom of her feet, she has to stop immediately and examine them for the culprit.
11. Following directions. Ask her to do something, and she'll do it. For the most part.

Things to do before the baby comes:
1. Get my hair cut.
2. Trim my toenails. Not such an easy task any longer.
3. Use spa certificate to get prenatal massage.
4. Clean out and wash the van.
5. Clean basement. I know these don't really have anything to do with the baby - but I'll feel better when they're done.

Things to ask Dr. Rolando at next visit:
1. Why, when I take a deep breath in, do my hands tingle?
2. Is there pre-admission paperwork I need to fill out for the hospital?
3. When am I supposed to call the hospital when I go into labor the second time around?
4. There are a couple of other questions, but for the sake of decency and the fact that I think there are people that I don't really know all that well that read this, I'm going to omit them from this list :)

Last minute things to pack in hospital bag:
1. Contact supplies / glasses.
2. Blowdryer, comb, hair products.
3. Makeup. I know - I probably won't use it, but just in case.
4. Pillow.
5. Camera.

Things that make me chuckle today:
1. There is a company here called Doody Mechanical, Inc. We saw one of their trucks on the way to work. Doody. I always giggle.
2. People used to stare at my boobs. Now they stare at my belly. I wonder what they'll stare at next?
3. I got on the elevator this morning with a nervous-looking chap. I was tempted to accidentally hit the stop button and double over in fake-pain. Poor guy probably would have shat himself.
4. We have an ornery cat, Baxter. Josie likes to walk behind him and kick him in the butt. It makes him angry. It makes me laugh. I know I shouldn't. But she doesn't do this to the other, laid-back cat.

Just the facts, ma'am

In order to refrain from any sniveling, or whining, or excess self-pity, this post is purely fact, no emotional content what-so-ever. Or very little.

Per my doctor's request, on Monday morning I called my doctor's assistant to leave a message with details of how I did over the weekend. I said that I did just fine, had a few contractions here and there and was feeling a bit crampy Sunday night and Monday morning. I went to lunch, came back and there was a message from Rayanne (Raeann, Rayannne, Rayann, I'm not sure how she spells it) telling me that Dr. Rolando thought that since I'm still having some contractions and am feeling cramping that I had better go ahead and get started on the Terbutaline prescription he gave me last Thursday. I had Patrick take me at lunch on Tuesday to get the prescription filled, then drop me off at home for the afternoon since I anticipated feeling the ill-effects of the first dose. That was the right move since I did feel very shaky, anxious and restless.

***Sidenote - we had a great evening on Tuesday visiting with the Rosenbaum family - Becky, Adam and 1 month old Vivian at the Gronau residence. The Mathews - Tricia and Kevin, were also in attendance. :) It was the perfect distraction. And Viv is a perfect little doll. I forget so quickly how small they are when they come out.

I also gave myself the day at home today since I got virtually zero sleep last night and was still feeling very shaky. But I am doing much better this evening. So there you have it. One little pill, every four hours for the next few weeks.

Meltdown at the Sparky show

It was a beautiful weekend, although it went by much too quickly, as time seems to be doing lately. Sunday morning we decided to take Josie to the Como Zoo. We were having a lovely time, the weather was gorgeous and we got there right when it opened at 10:00 am, so wasn't overly crowded. Sparky, Como's resident trained sea lion, was putting on a performance at 11:30, so the timing was perfect to take in the "show." Well, Josie isn't the biggest fan of sitting still - especially when you're watching from an amphitheater full of fabulous steps and seats to be climbed. As I'm helping her climb up and down, up and down, I'm looking around with envy at all of the other children happily sitting and taking in the sights. I think a combination of factors - including, but not limited to: mom's frustration, hunger, and impending nap time, contributed to a major meltdown at the end of the show. Thank goodness, she waited until the end. And so ended our time at the zoo. At least it's free.

Josie is continuing to show her preference to sleeping in as late as possible in the mornings. Friday morning I had to go in and wake her at 9:45. Granted, she was battling the sniffles, but she still will sleep until well after 8:00, and sometimes 9:00 am if given the chance. Great for weekends, not so great for weekday mornings. So I felt like we had a shortened day on Friday, but we still had a good time picking up Daddy from work and going to grab Dino's Gyros for lunch and taking it to a local park. Then home for a nice nap, and that was pretty much our day!

Saturday we spent time getting a few household things done, and got much-needed grocery shopping done. Then we got to go to our friend Julie's 30th birthday party in the late afternoon, where Josie thoroughly enjoyed Julie's apartment building's nicely renovated pool! Daddy and Jo stayed in the water with the other kids and parents until her little lips were blue.

And so it's Monday morning. And I'm doing fine. Not too many contractions over the weekend. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Thank you all for your well-wishes and concerns. If you haven't posted a guess in the baby pool, you may want to do that - perhaps sooner rather than later :) But I promise, I don't have any inside info that I'm withholding.

A Familiar Road

Stats from yesterday's doc visit:

Weight: Up 2 lbs. from last visit 3 weeks ago.
BP: 114 / 66. Excellent.
Belly measurement: Right on 31 cm.
Baby heartbeat: Strong.
Fetal fibronectin test: Negative.

That was the good news. Not that there's bad news - just news. I have started to dilate. A little bit. Which is not abnormal at all for this far along and/or a second pregnancy, but considering my history, it's something to keep an eye on. So I have a prescription for Terbutaline in my bag, and have permission to fill it at any point if I feel that the contractions continue to increase in duration and intensity. But I'm not required to be on it. Yet. I also have orders to "take it easy." Which, following the miscommunication during my pregnancy with Josie, I got very specific clarification on this time around. Working is still fine. Butt on couch and feet up when at home. Call immediately if anything changes. Call next week to update on how I'm feeling. And see him again in 2 weeks. So things are feeling a little familiar. I don't mind if this one wants to come out early, too... but would very much like to avoid bedrest this time around.

Oh - funny tidbit from the visit yesterday. So there I am in all my glory on the table getting ready for the fetal fibronectin test, which is basically like a pap smear, when Dr. Rolando proclaims, "Oh no. Don't kill me. I don't have a test in here - I have to run out and get one." Yeah. Great - why don't you do that. So he bolts from the room, leaving me in pretty much the most uncomfortable position you could be in, WITH the door open, while he locates a test kit. Don't get me wrong - I really like this doc a lot, but I'm pretty sure a female doctor would have checked that beforehand :)

Uh oh

So I have to go see my doc today at 1:15.

I wasn't supposed to go in until next week... but, I've been having some pretty regular contractions since Tuesday evening, and have just been feeling a bit achy and crampy. Dr. Rolando gave me strict instructions to let him know if anything started to change... so I broke down and gave his assistant a call yesterday. They want to make sure that nothing is changing "down there," meaning that the contractions would be starting to work to soften and thin my cervix. It's so hard to know what is normal and what is not; the contractions I'm having could just be plain old Braxton Hicks and we're most likely just totally paranoid. But it's probably better not to take the chance. They definitely feel different than any I had been having, but I am 31 weeks - so who knows. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything is still thick and closed!!

Congrats, Kari!

She's a big winner!! Congrats to Kari, who won over $60,000 during her Wheel of Fortune appearance. Tricia and I made the trek down to Rochester last night to attend Kari's Wheel of Fortune pizza party in the auditorium at Mayo Clinic with between 100 and 200 of her closest friends, family and co-workers :) It was a blast to see her on national television, bouncing, winning and bonding with Pat Sajak! She and her family did an excellent job of keeping her winnings a secret - not an easy feat with everyone trying to trick them into spilling the beans. No one deserves more success and happiness than Kari - a true friend, competitor and champion in everything she does. Great job!

Wheel Reminder

Tonight's the night! Watch the Wheel of Fortune tonight to see what kind of fortune my high school friend, Kari, won.

Think nice thoughts

Please send some nice thoughts to the families of my friends - Meg and Becky. Both lost loved ones over the weekend. Love you guys.

It was a weekend

It was hot. Pat decided to paint the rec room. A 1 day project turned into a 3 day project. Josie and I played. We ran errands. We went shoe shopping. Not an easy task for a little girl with thick and wide feet. But she liked it anyway. On Sunday, the three of us went to visit with a bunch of my family. It was hot. And windy. I know my blog wasn't displaying correctly. I don't know what was wrong. All I know - it was hot. No more babies in the summer. Ever.

Just call me Stinky

Okay, don't. I was just kidding.

But have you ever wondered mid-way through the day if you remembered to put on deodorant that morning? No? Okay. Nevermind. Me either.

Have you ever looked in the mirror after going to the bathroom and realized that you have a smidgeon of unidentifiable schmoozle on your chin and wonder A. how long it' s been there and B. how many people have seen it? No? Yeah - me either.

I'm a mess. But a waddling, 30 week pregnant mess, so at least I have an excuse :)

I feel puffy. Oh, so puffy.

Fingers like sausages and feet like concrete slabs.

The joys of the third trimester of pregnancy. I started to puff up a bit over the weekend - noticed I couldn't quite get my wedding ring off sometimes, and my feet were bugging me a bit more than normal, and today, it's pretty bad again. I try to drink more water - but to no avail. All that seems to do it send me to the bathroom twice as often. But otherwise, all is peachy.

I'll quit complaining now. :)

Josie is sleeping. Pat is at softball. I'm enjoying some quiet time when I probably should be doing laundry or dishes or... something productive. But then I remembered that in the not-so-faraway-future I'm not going to have a whole lot of quiet time again for a while. So here I sit, content in my selfishness.

I got Josie fed, and bathed, and in bed tonight between doses of her new favorite pastime... the chicken dance. That's right - a big, fat, sarcastic thank you to one of Patrick's old co-workers who gave him a lovely dancing turkey that plays the chicken dance and wears an apron that says "eat more chicken" last year for a gag gift. She loves the stupid thing, wants us to push the button all the time, and of course, we have to stop what we're doing and do the chicken dance.

Oh - the things we do for a laugh. I can only imagine what the neighbors must think if they can see us. Yet, I don't quite have the heart to hide it. She'd be crushed.

Holy crap. I'm watching the American Idol finale - and some sorry sap is up there freaking out and singing with Clay Aiken. They just had to bring him a stool so he could sit down. Wait - is that Clay, or kd lange? I can't quite tell. Oh yeah, it's Clay. :) Nice hair.

Gotta go. Battery is almost dead on ye ole laptop, and I don't feel like plugging it in.

Sometimes, pain is good

Like today. And okay, not really pain, but definite lethargy and exhaustion. But that just means that I had a reason to stay up late all weekend and enjoy the company of friends. And my stomach muscles hurt, but that just means that I had reason to laugh all weekend. I had the opportunity to spend a beautiful weekend at a cabin in Nisswa and was reminded that girl time is very much a necessity. It sounds like Patrick and Josie had a great time while I was gone, and enjoyed a fun-filled weekend of daddy-daughter time. So everyone in our house was pooped last night!

And in Josie news, she is now not only walking with confidence, and has been for at least a month or so, but also decided to break out in a run last Friday. Cheeks jiggling and arms held high in case of a fall, she was trotting through the house on a mission. A mission for what, I'm not sure, but she was on the run. Another tidbit to share, this morning as we were cleaning up the breakfast dishes and getting ready to leave, I, well, burped. Usually, this will bring about the "o" lips from Josie. This morning must have been especially impressive, because not only did I get the "o" lips, but I also got a round of applause! If she's going to clap every time I burp in the next couple of months, we're sure going to have a happy household, 'cause it happens a lot! :) Patrick put the sand in her sandbox over the weekend, and I'm hoping she "gets" what it's for soon, because right now all she wants to do is eat it. Yuck. Thank goodness for sandbox covers.

And in pregnancy news, well, I guess there isn't much. I'm over 29 weeks along, baby is moving and kicking constantly, and my old friend, heartburn is back. So the bottle of Tums is never far away. I'm up once or twice a night to visit the bathroom, and have started having trouble taking a nice, long, deep breath. But I'm practicing. I'm carrying baby pretty high, and my lungs are definitely feeling the effects. But all in all, everything is going quite well. We're getting closer!

Pick a date! And a name!

Just for the heck of it - I created a baby pool. Click on the link and give a guess, if you wanna. Date, time and weight. And just for the fun of it - throw in how long you think I'll be in labor this time around. (It was about 10 1/2 hours with Josie.) We'll keep it simple. No head measurements or length. Sorry, you're not going to win a fabulous prize, or fame or fortune, other than being forever known as the winner of the baby pool!

Oh - and I put up a new girl name poll. Again. Humor me, okay? :) I think I did it so you can only vote once, and can only pick one name. I think there may have been some shenanigans with the last one.

Braxton Hicks

And no, I'm not talking about the contractions. This is actually the new name that my husband has decided to call Taylor Hicks, the American Idol finalist! First, it was "Randy." I'm not sure why Taylor seemed like a "Randy" to him, especially since there is already a real Randy on the show, but that's what he insisted on calling him. Now this morning, I was giving Pat an AI update on the way to work, and "Braxton" Hicks is the new name he came up with. I think we might have pregnancy on the brain!

Now, you all know that I am a self-proclaimed reality tv show junkie. But last night was ridiculous. I didn't know what to do, with the season finales of America's Next Top Model and The Amazing Race on head-to-head at 7:00, then the final hour of The Amazing Race, American Idol results show AND Lost (okay - not a reality show, but still a must-see) all on at 8:00. Whew. That was a rough one. :) But I survived, so don't worry.

Miss Josie is a girl on the go these days. She loves to get her coat and hat and head out the door for the next adventure, whatever that may be. She has started to become quite stressed when one of us gets ready to leave and doesn't take her with. Last night she laid a major guilt trip on Daddy as he was rushing out the door to softball and she was standing at the screen door pressing her face up against it crying when he left. She schmooshed her little face as much as she could to watch him go down the sidewalk to the garage. Talk about heart-wrenching. And talk about stressful for me... especially as I gear up for a girl's weekend retreat with my bookclub friends. I'm completely torn between extreme emotions as I am sooooo looking forward to a weekend getaway with wonderful friends, but yet sooooo sad to miss an entire weekend of fun with Josie. I know - it's only one weekend and I deserve a much-needed break (at least, this is what I keep telling myself for justification purposes.) I just love waking up on the weekends to a happy girl that gets to sleep in and loves to see her mommy and daddy come in to get her in the morning. If you can't tell, this will be the first full weekend I've spent away from her. :( But on the other hand, alone time with my friends is hard to come by these days, and is only going to get harder with baby #2 on the way. So in the end, I am very much looking forward to a relaxing weekend of talking, laughing and sitting around enjoying some "me" time!!

Ramblings of a Mad Woman: An Editorial on the Subject of Opinions

I've entered a phase of my life where I can no longer have consuming thoughts roaming about in my head. I'm easily distracted and these thoughts will destroy any hope I have of accomplishing anything. Hence, I find myself making a lot of lists, having conversations with people to get things off my chest that have been bothering me and writing things down simply to get them out of my head. It's quite freeing. I find that I can go about my business with a clear mind after I've written down my Target list and made notes of all the things we need to buy before the baby comes.

This brings me to my point of why I'm writing today. I'm writing today to clear my head of consuming thoughts. I'm not going to go into detail about what events bring me to this point because, quite frankly, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I now have things bopping around in this skull of mine which are distracting to my efforts to get anything done at work and are in turn raising my blood pressure to unsafe levels. Read on. Or don't. I really don't care. This is my forum to express my thoughts and opinions and I'm happy to share with you. You may take what you read with a grain of salt and write it off to the mad ramblings of a pregnant woman with too many hormones raging through her body - and that's fine. It's your opinion, and you have a right to your opinion. I expect you to have an opinion.

What I don't expect is that you will actually tell me that MY opinion is wrong, and then list the reasons it is wrong, mainly because it differs from yours. There are a lot of people out there who work this way. And I find it quite infuriating. Perhaps I am a person who just does not derive any pleasure from the art of debate. I am so ingrained in the position that we are all entitled to think what we want that I cannot see the point of trying to persuade someone to my point of view. This is exactly why I am not good in arguments. And now that I think of it, perhaps I'm just not a very interesting person to have a conversation with, either.

Don't get me wrong - I AM a very opinionated person. I guess I don't know if I come across this way or not. I don't want you to mistakenly think that because I don't express my opinion in conversation that I don't have one. But I think what I think, and I don't really care to discuss it. You will never find me in a heated political discussion, especially after I find out that your opinion completely differs from mine. I can listen to you, I can try to see your point of view and I can try to see why someone in your situation would come to that opinion. But I will never try to tell you that what you think is wrong. You have a right to think it. Sure - I may think to myself that you're a moron, but I'm not going to tell you that. Unless you're drunk and won't remember anything I said in the morning.

On the flip-side, I'm quite wishy-washy on a lot of issues. These issues probably don't have much impact in my daily life. I will shamedly admit that I remain an ignorant person on many topics - most of national and international news levels, simply because it is easy for me to turn off the news or not pick up a newspaper and be confronted with these issues. But once something is going to have an impact on me or my family, I will have an opinion. Until that time, I remain blissfully ignorant. It's not an especially good stance to take, but it's my right to take it.

In all of my musings throughout the morning, I came to try to understand the WHY behind my inner-workings. Why don't I tell you why I think you're wrong? Why don't I throw my hat into the discussion ring? What am I afraid of?

I think I came to the conclusion that the point of origin for why I am the way I am is due to the fact that there weren't a lot of peers my age around growing up. I had a couple of cousins that I'd hang out with on occasion who were close to my age, but otherwise, we lived out in the country and until I was older and could drive, I was with adults most of the time. And I certainly wasn't going to speak up and voice my opinion to a bunch of adults, especially if it differed from theirs. So I think this lack of interaction with others my age started my shyness, which fed into a fear of rejection later on once I started interacting with kids my own age. I wanted to be liked and accepted, so didn't speak up. Which is quite possibly the same motivation behind my actions now, as an adult.

Now if you asked my husband, certain friends or certain members of my family about all of these ramblings - they'd probably proclaim that I'm too opinionated. I guess what it comes down to is that I have to have reached a certain comfort level with you before I'm okay to speak openly and freely with you. I have to know that you accept me unconditionally. Others, apparently, do not have this safety zone, are probably more confident in themselves, or just don't give a damn and feel okay saying anything to anyone. Which is fine. It takes all kinds.

I still don't understand how someone can just say whatever comes to mind without any thought for who it may affect or offend, but again, I guess it's their right to say it. I don't understand how someone can think that every action and opinion they've ever done or had is the correct one, but again, I guess it's their right to think it. I don't understand how someone thinks so highly of themselves that they push and give their advice to everyone, but again, I guess it's their right to give it.

I stand firmly in my positions on politics, abortion, mothering, breastfeeding, voting, women's rights, animal testing, the death penalty, guns, Heinz ketchup vs. Hunts catsup, and many other important topics. You may not know where I stand, and may never know where I stand. And that's okay. You may ask, and I will tell you. But I am not going to offer up my opinion merely for the sake of debate or dish out advice merely because I think I'm right. That's just not the kind of person I am. And I'm okay with that. You can think what you think and I can think what I think. It's what makes this country great. Or something.

If you've made it to the end of this - welcome to my ramblings. Now you know what kind of stuff is floating around in my head. I didn't really have much of a point to all of this except to clear my head, to get it out and written down so that I don't have to think about it anymore. Now I can get back to work. :)