And so.

Here I sit on the love seat on a Friday night, the house quiet, save the off-beat ticking of a couple of clocks. It has been a long time since I've written, and I offer no apologies tonight. What can I say, other than life gets in the way of a luxury such as free time to sit and think and type without interruptions, and a lot of times, I just plain don't feel like it. And so. Here we are, at a time when, I guess, I do feel like it.

In one bedroom, my five-year-old shifts and stirs in her sleep, sometimes murmuring unintelligible phrases, sometimes resorting habitually to sucking her thumb. This is a very exciting and taxing time for her. The ending of things very near and dear to her are drawing close or have already happened - pre-K, swimming lessons, Irish dance lessons. And the beginning of new adventures loom near - t-ball, gymnastics, summer break, French Immersion camp and kindergarten. As well as all the other Very Exciting Things happenings in the life of a five-year-old... loose teeth, almost riding a two-wheel bike, READING, the independence of walking into school all. by. herself. The extent of her excitement and trepidation are palpable. And seeing all that in print makes it much more clear why she is so tired and dramatic and giddy and excited all the time.

And in the next room, the almost-four-year-old flings herself from end to end of her bed, tossing blankets and stuffed animals and baby dolls all the while. Her room never quite looks the same when we enter in the morning from when we leave her at night. She is now an officially registered pre-kindergarten student. She's not quite sure why she just can't go ahead and start right now, and when in this elusive "fall" we keep speaking of? Tomorrow? No - then the next day? Fine, when can we play in the sprinkler? She continues to be my continual source of laughter and frustration, comfort and exhaustion. She has mastered the art of giving the best hug you've ever had in your life, oftentimes wrapping her entire little body around the recipient. I want for her to grow big and strong and healthy, but yet, will so miss the day when I can pick her up with ease and have her enfold me in her sinewy little limbs. Every day, I admire the zeal with which she lives her life. She'll yell "hug!" from the next room and come running to do just that. And the next moment, she's off to play a tune on the keyboard and make up a song. All the while, she's probably contemplating how to con me into letting her watch a movie and have a snack.

And lastly, upstairs, the husband sleeps, having returned today from what, hopefully, will be his last business trip until August. It's always a weird rift in our routines when he travels, but, I daresay, it has become easier as the girls have gotten older, and definitely much easier since I've been a SAHM. Speaking of which... the year anniversary approaches near the end of this month. And that - I cannot fathom. What a different life. And now, I'm tired. More soon... or perhaps, not. But there will be more, again, another time.

Days of Ghillies and Hockey Skates. Or, You'd Better Appreciate this Video, Because it Took 2 Days to Upload.

Couldn't you just eat her up? I feel so inept at putting into words the... just... everything... that she is and does and says. She is bright and curious to no end. Considerate and kind. Competitive and determined. I can't do justice to the light in her eyes, the depth of her understanding or the softness of her sweet little cheek. She is my sun on the darkest days.

Josephine turned 5 on January 19th. The three birthday parties celebrating the occasion, along with the planning, cleaning and cooking that naturally come along for the ride, consumed a large part of the month of January. She got to go to school on her birthday, and take treats to share with her school friends. Then we spent the afternoon at the Mall of America, just the four of us. I'm not sure which of us enjoyed ourselves the most. Josie got a free unlimited ride wristband at Nickelodeon Universe, and definitely made it worthwhile, even venturing a ride on a big-kid roller coaster, and the Log Chute.

Otherwise, our days this last month and a half have been full of school, Irish dancing and hockey practice for Josie, and ECFE and skating lessons for Eve. She ended the class able to stand up without the "pusher" and even could take some steps on her own. Eager to start her own journey on skates.

We talk a lot about spring now. The sun feels warmer, the days longer, and we're waiting, waiting to be able to spend more time outside.

And Baxter, my black and white cat of almost 17 years, is no longer with us. It's the first time in the 8 years we've lived in this house that we haven't had a cat. It was hard to say goodbye, but a relief at the same time. The vet said Baxi had a large tumor in his stomach, and that we made the right decision at the right time. Who knows if it's the truth or not. But I'll be eternally grateful to him for saying the words, either way.