Ramblings of a Mad Woman: An Editorial on the Subject of Opinions

I've entered a phase of my life where I can no longer have consuming thoughts roaming about in my head. I'm easily distracted and these thoughts will destroy any hope I have of accomplishing anything. Hence, I find myself making a lot of lists, having conversations with people to get things off my chest that have been bothering me and writing things down simply to get them out of my head. It's quite freeing. I find that I can go about my business with a clear mind after I've written down my Target list and made notes of all the things we need to buy before the baby comes.

This brings me to my point of why I'm writing today. I'm writing today to clear my head of consuming thoughts. I'm not going to go into detail about what events bring me to this point because, quite frankly, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I now have things bopping around in this skull of mine which are distracting to my efforts to get anything done at work and are in turn raising my blood pressure to unsafe levels. Read on. Or don't. I really don't care. This is my forum to express my thoughts and opinions and I'm happy to share with you. You may take what you read with a grain of salt and write it off to the mad ramblings of a pregnant woman with too many hormones raging through her body - and that's fine. It's your opinion, and you have a right to your opinion. I expect you to have an opinion.

What I don't expect is that you will actually tell me that MY opinion is wrong, and then list the reasons it is wrong, mainly because it differs from yours. There are a lot of people out there who work this way. And I find it quite infuriating. Perhaps I am a person who just does not derive any pleasure from the art of debate. I am so ingrained in the position that we are all entitled to think what we want that I cannot see the point of trying to persuade someone to my point of view. This is exactly why I am not good in arguments. And now that I think of it, perhaps I'm just not a very interesting person to have a conversation with, either.

Don't get me wrong - I AM a very opinionated person. I guess I don't know if I come across this way or not. I don't want you to mistakenly think that because I don't express my opinion in conversation that I don't have one. But I think what I think, and I don't really care to discuss it. You will never find me in a heated political discussion, especially after I find out that your opinion completely differs from mine. I can listen to you, I can try to see your point of view and I can try to see why someone in your situation would come to that opinion. But I will never try to tell you that what you think is wrong. You have a right to think it. Sure - I may think to myself that you're a moron, but I'm not going to tell you that. Unless you're drunk and won't remember anything I said in the morning.

On the flip-side, I'm quite wishy-washy on a lot of issues. These issues probably don't have much impact in my daily life. I will shamedly admit that I remain an ignorant person on many topics - most of national and international news levels, simply because it is easy for me to turn off the news or not pick up a newspaper and be confronted with these issues. But once something is going to have an impact on me or my family, I will have an opinion. Until that time, I remain blissfully ignorant. It's not an especially good stance to take, but it's my right to take it.

In all of my musings throughout the morning, I came to try to understand the WHY behind my inner-workings. Why don't I tell you why I think you're wrong? Why don't I throw my hat into the discussion ring? What am I afraid of?

I think I came to the conclusion that the point of origin for why I am the way I am is due to the fact that there weren't a lot of peers my age around growing up. I had a couple of cousins that I'd hang out with on occasion who were close to my age, but otherwise, we lived out in the country and until I was older and could drive, I was with adults most of the time. And I certainly wasn't going to speak up and voice my opinion to a bunch of adults, especially if it differed from theirs. So I think this lack of interaction with others my age started my shyness, which fed into a fear of rejection later on once I started interacting with kids my own age. I wanted to be liked and accepted, so didn't speak up. Which is quite possibly the same motivation behind my actions now, as an adult.

Now if you asked my husband, certain friends or certain members of my family about all of these ramblings - they'd probably proclaim that I'm too opinionated. I guess what it comes down to is that I have to have reached a certain comfort level with you before I'm okay to speak openly and freely with you. I have to know that you accept me unconditionally. Others, apparently, do not have this safety zone, are probably more confident in themselves, or just don't give a damn and feel okay saying anything to anyone. Which is fine. It takes all kinds.

I still don't understand how someone can just say whatever comes to mind without any thought for who it may affect or offend, but again, I guess it's their right to say it. I don't understand how someone can think that every action and opinion they've ever done or had is the correct one, but again, I guess it's their right to think it. I don't understand how someone thinks so highly of themselves that they push and give their advice to everyone, but again, I guess it's their right to give it.

I stand firmly in my positions on politics, abortion, mothering, breastfeeding, voting, women's rights, animal testing, the death penalty, guns, Heinz ketchup vs. Hunts catsup, and many other important topics. You may not know where I stand, and may never know where I stand. And that's okay. You may ask, and I will tell you. But I am not going to offer up my opinion merely for the sake of debate or dish out advice merely because I think I'm right. That's just not the kind of person I am. And I'm okay with that. You can think what you think and I can think what I think. It's what makes this country great. Or something.

If you've made it to the end of this - welcome to my ramblings. Now you know what kind of stuff is floating around in my head. I didn't really have much of a point to all of this except to clear my head, to get it out and written down so that I don't have to think about it anymore. Now I can get back to work. :)