Somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow

I've had too many reminders in the last couple of days of the beginning and the end. The stark differences between preparing and celebrating new life, and coming to terms with the ending of others.

Deep, I know. I'll keep this short.

It's just fresh in my mind, and also plays into the update of our past couple of days.

I went to a baby shower for my friend, Dawn, whom I've known since, geez, 5th grade, when she moved to Chatfield, on Saturday. It's awesome to be witness to the preparation and excitement of a new baby. The shower was in Spring Valley, and I was early, and the path I took carried me right by a little "town" called Pleasant Grove. To say it's small is an understatement. But Pleasant Grove is very near where I grew up, and in Pleasant Grove is a cemetery.

I've always had this weird fascination with cemeteries. They contain history, quiet and overwhelming peace. Maybe at this particular phase of my life, that's especially appealing to me due to the uncertainties of raising kids and worrying about their futures, the hectic pace of our lives and the unending chaos that evolves from having a family. Stepping into a cemetery brings with it certainty, finality, an absolute answer. This is the end. It's Plain and Simple. Something I don't have a lot of in my life right now.

And this particular cemetery has sentimental value to me as it is the resting place of numerous members of my family, including my Dad. A brother. A cousin. My Grandpas. I know it's silly, but it's always been important to me to "visit" the cemetery. To touch the gravestones. I know loved ones aren't really "there," but it's a place all its own to remember. To pay respects. I haven't been there in a while, and there have been changes since the last time I visited. Stones in place for my cousin and for the baby girl of another cousin that I hadn't seen before. It's a strange thing to see your family name, so clear and stark, engraved on a headstone.

Okay. Enough of that.

We celebrated family birthdays for Patrick's dad, sister and nephew yesterday. His nephew, Trent, will be 4 next week. It's fun to see how much excitement something as simple as a Garfield ice cream cake can bring to the life of a preschooler. There were so many gifts, it was like a mini-Christmas. With birthday cake.

Except hanging overhead was the sad news that Pat's Grandma Ashton is not well. She has made the Decision to stop kidney dialysis. And has numerous complications including a horrible bedsore, and pneumonia in one of her lungs. The family has been told to prepare for the end. What an awful thing to try to reconcile in your mind.

What a rollercoaster. New babies. Birthdays. Saying goodbye. Autumn. Guess it's all kind of apropos of the season.